Every place I’ve ever been to before suck ass now that i’ve been here

Ever feel your life is perfect except for the fact that there’s nobody with which to share that perfection with?

this whole time i was skating along, thinking i could get into grad school with a decent GRE and a 3.0

turns out theorists need to have nearly a 4.0 and be in the top 95th percentile on their GRE’s

“there’s no money in theory. it’s the hardest track to pursue, and maybe 5% of physicists can handle it. lab research is easier, and people actually hire researchers.”
-Penn State Alum, now a physics grad student at UCF

fml

but maybe want I want to do is research. i want to develop the next stage in our civilization’s evolution. i mean, it’s going to involve a ton of lab research… but it’s also going to require a ton of theory.

whatever has me harvesting antiprotons, stabilizing H/He fusion, or ripping holes in the fabric of the universe.

but the antiprotons or fusion or whatever new power source need to come first. the power source is the foundation that the future will be built upon. an unlimited amount of free energy is what will start it all. so maybe research is what i really want to do? nobody’s going to be opening wormholes during my lifetime, so why dedicate it to theory?

antimatter propulsion and sustained fusion are within reach, and off-world colonization is a definite possibility.

he’s a prick, and younger than I am, so he feels intimidated and needs to be an asshole to feel in charge. I walk in 20 minutes late after making a wrong turn on the way to class (still figuring out college park.) He comes up to me after I start working with my lab team and says “you’re 20 minutes late.”

I immediately said “I know, I apologize, I meant no disrespect. I won’t let it…”

(he cuts me off) “I should mark you absent today.”

“okay, i understand. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I reply.

“OKAY? you KNOW you only get 3 absences before you automatically fail this class.”

“sorry, I’ll make sure this is the only one.”

“And I’m not accepting your homework, prelabs or labwork for today,” he says as he walks off.

“I understand” is all I replied with.

Then at the end of class, my lab team was the last one there (just the three of us,) trying to figure out the last vector calculation. I open up my laptop to open my physics and calc textbooks (they’re digital) and found i’ve forgotten my ucf wifi network password. i call to get it reset (josh answered again. lol) and then im online,. next, i find that the online ebook site has split my two classes into two accounts, the second of which i dont have the info for. So i can access my calc book, but not the physics book. i call them to merge them back, and the adjunct storms over “are you guys working or playing around on your phones?”

I cover the phone while the tech support rep is trying to help fix the problem. “I’m sorry, but the ebook site messed up my textbook account, and we need the text reference for the last vector calculations.”

“this is the kind of thing you do outside of class. in my class you’re on my time. this doesn’t concern me. i put questions on the board. you answer them. no phones. you get that? NO PHONES. i dont care about the circumstances. turn your phone off and finish your lab.”

(this is where i bit my tongue so hard it drew blood.) My entire body was screaming “OK, YOU PRETENTIOUS FUCK, NEXT TIME WEBASSIGN FUCKS MY ACCOUNT UP DURING THE MIDDLE OF CLASS, I’LL MAKE SURE THAT IT HAPPENS OUTSIDE OF CLASS HOURS. THAT’S PERFECTLY FUCKING LOGICAL.”

instead, i tear out my pages of work from my notebook, hands shaking from anger, while my lab team whispers “don’t hit him. please don’t hit him.”

i place my paper on his desk and walk out. i should have decked him. i should have fucking decked him.

OK, I’m not a genius, but I’m certainly not stupid. This looks like a confirmation receipt for my reservation, right? Am I losing it or has the bar been lowered… no… not even lowered.. DROPPED TO THE FLOOR for customer service in this country?

I get to the Uhaul place to pick up my moving van and auto carrier, and they have no record of my reservation. The girl called the regional office, and it turns out that the internet reservation system is set up to accept reservations even when there are no vehicles available, as long as they transfer your reservation to another “local” branch that has it. their interpretation of “local” is pretty whack. they wanted me to drive an hour to go get my rental truck, drive an hour back. then pack my stuff up and drive home. My compensation? they would add an additional 30 unbilled miles to my rental.

“I don’t need any unbilled miles. Your truck gets 5mpg while pulling my SUV. I’m out $75 just in gas to go pick this up. PLUS, ma’am have you looked at the time? that location will be closed by the time I get there.”

I demanded the regional manager’s name and the corporate phone number.

I called the corporate office, completely livid. I asked to speak with a supervisor. There are none at the call center. Their job is to file complaints, and have someone call you back within 72 hours. 72 hours?!? BITCH, I NEED TO MOVE TODAY, NOT 72 HOURS FROM NOW! THE HOUSE IS SOLD. ALL OF THE FURNITURE IN THIS HOUSE NEEDS TO ME MOVED TO THE NEW HOUSE! TODAY!

(this was after I entered my credit card info to lock in the reservation the day before)

Receipt - Order #203xxxxxx

    * Print this page (link removed)
    * Back to order details (link removed)

Total paid: $0.00

Total due in store: $287.00
Rental equipment - xxxxxxxxx
Item     Total
17’ truck     $146.00
Auto Transport     $59.00
SafeTow®     $16.00
Super Safemove®     $56.00
Total (Due in store)     $277.00
Additional rental items - xxxxxxxxx
Item     Quantity     Rate     Total
Furniture Dolly     1     10     $10.00

Total (Due in store)
    

$287.00

As of Fall, I will be a triple major. Aerospace engineering is the lucky third. Maybe ill go completely crazy and add computer engineering, too. just because.

They say triple and quad majors get less recognition because they don’t have a clear career plan and spread themselves too thin over too many subjects. That’s hogwash. Polymathic potential here, people. If I want to, I should be able to… When and why did that go out of style?

I aim to create my own privatized aerospace engineering corporation to churn out affordable next-gen spacecraft. This is why i need the phd in physics. I need a power source that isn’t chemical. hear that? NO PERCHLORATE ROCKET BOOSTERS! It’s time for anti-matter drives and sustainable fusion energy sources. Actually, they would be first-gen spaceships. What we have now are shuttles. They are not ships.

I’m going do it, even if I’m my only employee and I have to do it in my garage. and the everything will be copylefted. hear that? copylefted. The only way we’re getting off this rock is is nobody’s trying to get rich along the way.

and we DO need to get off of this rock.

1) We’re smothering it.

2) It’s our time.

We are a curious species. The americas were the last “new world,” where people could travel to with hopes for a better life. We need to somewhere else to go. Another land beyond the horizon. Somewhere where people with a vision of a better tomorrow can go to make it happen. No hunger, no poverty, no weapons, and no wars. Just discovery and innovation. Self actualization will lead to group actualization, which will lead to intellectual and cognitive evolution.

“Manifest destiny” wasn’t about laying claim to land. It was about going out and finding yourself in a new, raw, developing world… carving out a piece of wild frontier and making it your home to raise a family.

The last separation from a superpower was for freedom of religion. The next will be for freedom from greed, violence, and red tape. Freedom for peace. How did democracy go so wrong? It’s because, like it or not, our bipartisan government has created a bipartisan population.

Manpower and resources could be devoted towards curing cancer and aids with nanobots if they weren’t being devoted to national defense. We could achieve complete immortality with enough work in tissue regeneration. We could feed every man, woman, and child on the planet if we just stopped making bombs.

What are we defending, anyways? Our failing economic infrastructure? Our society that believes that goals can only be accomplished if there is monetary gain at the end of the tunnel? Our underfunded schools? Our crumbling highways? Any system of government, any religious beliefs, any morals, anything and everyone can be moved… (Not forcibly, mind you… Not another Trail of Tears… I feel a large percentage of the world population would jump at the chance to colonize our moon or Mars.) So is it really as trivial as defending the actual land we occupy? If you’re under constant fear of attack… Wouldn’t the prudent decision be to move?

The first giant leap for mankind (after the industrialized world) was one man walking on the moon. The next giant leap will be mankind living offworld. If we relieve the strain on our planet as soon as possible, we might be able to save it.

She’s too damn pretty for us to just let her die.

let the ocean represent all of the knowledge in the universe. drop a grain of sand into it. that grain of sand represents everything that you know, and everything that you’ve experienced to make you who you are. at it’s core it represents everything that is most important to you… your thoughts, your feelings, and your desires. everything outside of that grain of sand is what you don’t know, what you consider to be irrelevant, and what you do not care to know.

drop another grain of sand in. that represents another person. that grain of sand may be similar to yours, and at some point join together with yours to overlap. drop enough grains of sand into the ocean they will eventually join together and form rock.

but outside that rock, other rocks are forming. those rocks may be comprised of grains of sand completely different from yours.

one rock could be the collective generalized life of wall street executives. concerned about accounts, lifestyle, career, even the time it takes a cab driver takes to get from manhattan to wall street. how to make cheese, grow mangoes, map the stars, or fish with a spear does not matter to this rock.

another rock could be the collective generalized life of a south american farmer. How to grow mangoes matters greatly to this rock. the time it takes a cab driver in new york to get from manhattan to wall street does not concern this rock. The thought never enters the mind.

an infinite amount of these rocks exist, with no concern for and/or knowledge of the information outside in the ocean. we all have no concern for the information that doesnt directly pertain to our lives. all irrelevant information is discarded, but it is still there, surrounding us, but remaining invisible due to the human nature of localized attention and perception.

there are billions of people on this planet. one of the greatest things we all have in common is not “instinct for survival,” but is everything that we do not perceive to be relevant to us… second only to the things we do not perceive at all.

your grain of sand is completely irrelevant, irrational, and considered incorrect by a percentage of our species. everyone’s grain of sand is completely wrong when observed by at least one other grain of sand, regardless of how many grains of sand belong to your rock and view part of your grain to be correct. and that isn’t even factoring in the grains that make up every other form of life that we know of.

generalizing all of the human perspectives, everything is wrong, irrelevant, and invalid. nothing you think matters on the greatest scale of sand-consciousness, and it is all disproven somewhere in the mix. nothing you know, nothing you feel, nothing you desire matters.

from the ocean’s point of view, however, everything matters. every drop of water that no grain of sand has ever bothered to notice still matters to the ocean. every grain of sand, and every rock that forms is also equally important, because it all makes up one large whole.

every bit of information that exists that we do not perceive to be relevant to our lives, or perhaps do not even perceive at all, is just as important as everything we hold most dear. all of our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs… they are all a small part of everything, and are all important to everything, but not any more important than the rest of everything.

to understand that everything matters in a higher dimension, you must begin at understanding and accepting that everything about yourself is irrelevant somewhere on your current plane of existence, and everything that doesn’t concern you, and some of what isn’t even known to you is equally important to someone or something else on your plane. our minds are all microcosms of a larger whole, and we are all cogs in a huge machine of life. a macrocosm of macrocosms of microcosms. a four dimensional venn diagram.

that is my thought for today.

southofthesouth:

THE FUTURE IS NOW.

(yesterday)

<author of http://apocalypsecakes.wordpress.com/ >:

Does anyone know what happened?

four shot outside gay nightclub in Castro District

<me>:

I know what happened. Four people were shot outside of a gay nightclub in the Castro District.

(today)

(private message)

Hi <me>,

I posted the news item about the shooting here in San Francisco because I have friends who are out tonight in the Castro area and I wanted to know if they heard anything beyond the news reports. The shooting happened within minutes of many of my friends’ homes and I’m worried about them and the people in the area.

I am confused about what you meant by repeating the headline I posted — it’s difficult to really know what a poster means over the Internet. All I can assume is that you meant to be funny. You should know that your post isn’t funny and that I’m embarrassed to have it on my Facebook page so I’m deleting it.

- <same girl>

(reply to above)

Hi xxxxxxxxx,

I commented on the news item you posted because I made an observation that I thought was humorous, and since your post lacked any detail whatsoever of anything besides a basic inquiry, I was completely unaware that you, living so far away from San Fransisco, actually knew anyone that could have been involved in the incident. As you stated, it is difficult to read another person’s expressions over the internet, and I suggest that the next time you post something that means something so substantial to you, that you post more than a few words with a question mark at the end.

My comment should not have been at all confusing to you, and I’m sorry that you feel embarrassed to have your facebook to display a comment that you don’t understand. I just want you to know that, with you writing the blog that you do, I feel sorry that you can’t take what you dish out, and that this has been the most ridiculous message I’ve received over facebook. Ever.

Sorry for your loss, and get over yourself. Oh. I’m now embarrassed to have you on my friends list, so I’m removing you.

Sincerely,

<me>

1) shock the nerd community by telling them they’re wrong and explaining why (only to have a huge corporation steal my idea and sell it for millions)

or

2) make the first one myself and copyleft the device.

my endgame has always been opening an aerospace engineering firm to develop spacecraft and copylefting EVERYTHING we develop, but I really have no idea how to go about copylefting anything but software code. I don’t think the GNU license would cover anything but software… I figured since endgame was about 20 years away that I would have some time to think about how to copyleft something in place of a traditional patent.

“yes, you may use and modify my <product name> design for free, but you are required to publish the blueprints to your modified version of my <product name> and allow anyone to use and modify YOUR design for free, and they must also adhere to the same stipulations, and so on and so forth. Anyone that violates these licensing agreements automatically forfeits the rights to any and all past, existing, current research and development products and/or projects that incorporates the use of the <product name> under this license.”

yeah, this goes against all american capitalist ideals, but there’s no “I” in “the advancement of human space travel” (you like that? I just made that up.)

but seriously, we’re only going to get this done if people man up, stop selling their components at outrageous prices that make the design and construction of REAL, MODERN-DAY SPACECRAFT cost billions of dollars. (We’ve been using the same space shuttles for 30 years, and the same chemical propellants for an entire century (thanks, bobby goddard, but it’s time to move on.) This thing FLIES IN SPACE and is THIRTY YEARS OLD. Meanwhile, most of us would be horrified to UPDATE OUR FACEBOOKS from a 2 year old PHONE.)

so i might not make any money off of anything, but i will walk on mars. following the mars missions, the moon/mars colonies will begin. face it, this planet is circling the drain. i give it 50-100 years until we have to start moving on, whether it’s due to over-population, pollution, lack of natural resources, or whatever. This will require spaceflight to be as affordable as driving a car. Also, ships will have to be idiot-proof enough so that the average person could operate them. Maybe I should talk to steve jobs… but only if he doesn’t:

1) include a mouse with just one button

2) ban any equipment/software not written in his native language.

3) name anything beginning with the letter “i”

imagine… the unveiling of Apple’s iSpace, iShip, or iShuttle.

oh… and under The Martian People’s Collective (the colonial government of Mars,) nobody will have to capitalize anything that they don’t want to in their online blogs. There will be no economy, no money, and it will do away with representative democracy. Everyone votes on every proposal with their iVote. Wait… I forgot… nothing beginning with “i”

I’m going to end this with some Jean-Luc Picard. This clip ends with one of my favorite quotes from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Ignore the title. It has nothing to do with the point that I’m trying to make, and it was the only clip of this without some youtuber ranting on about some agenda beforehand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzqW0YaN2ho

I’m not suggesting communism. There will be no proletarian revolution. There will be a revolution, but it will be a technological revolution. There will be no bloodshed, no wars, no weapons, and no crime. Eventually everything you need will be nearly-instantaneously constructed (via nanobots, energy/matter signature replication, whatever) like the martini in this clip. There will be no illnesses, disease, addictions, or death. There will be nothing left except the pursuit of knowledge, self-improvement, nonviolent religions, and the exploration of our universe (and possibly others?)

That’s where I feel Marx got it wrong. He had the right idea, but was focused too much on means of production. His philosophies came too early… without the technological possibilities to make a society truly free.

And hey, if you don’t like it, then stay on Earth and burn books, ruin your oceans, soil, and atmosphere and continue to kill each other.

so I guess I just answered my own question. I will attempt to patent this device with copyleft availabilities and restrictions.

note: the device I’m talking about is rather simple and IS NOT A SPACESHIP, but it will revolutionize particular aspects of a certain industry, and pave way for future copylefts.